


A Fishy Tale

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode Fix-it: s05e21 Meridian, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-14
Updated: 2006-03-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 14:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12727944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Jack takes Jonas fishing.





	A Fishy Tale

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: "Jonas whumping, character death."  


* * *

**Man Killed in Freak Fishing Accident**

_Lake Wobegon, Minnesota_

An inquest was held yesterday in Lake Wobegon to determine the cause of death for Jonas Quinn, a brilliant young scientist who drowned under slightly mysterious circumstances while vacationing in Minnesota with his new 'best friend', Colonel Jonathan 'Jack' O'Neill, USAF, last Tuesday.

"I don't know what happened," Colonel O'Neill insisted. "One minute we were happily fishing in my boat, the next, Jonas was in the water. It's a real shame I forgot to bring the life-jackets. He really should have learned how to swim. Oh well, I'm sure it was over quick." When asked about the numerous 'oar-shaped' bruises on Quinn's body, Colonel O'Neill had no explanation. 

Dr. Samantha Carter, close friend of both O'Neill and the deceased, then launched into a two-hour explanation of how the hitherto unknown 'slam-dunk effect' caused by lunar tidal forces converging with the wake from mating crappies could have caused Quinn to fall overboard and "sink like a stone". 

After testimony by the deceased's personal physician, Dr. Janet Fraiser, that he had suffered from a rare disorder causing him to appear 'beaten to a pulp' for no reason, the coroner ruled the death a tragic accident.

Another close friend of the deceased, a man identified only as Teal'c, was quoted as saying: "In my culture, O'Neill's actions would be considered well within his rights". General George Hammond, USAF, had a simple eulogy for the fallen man: "he sleeps with the fishes".

* * *

**Strange Lights Seen in Sky Over Minnesota**

Unusual lights were reported in the sky over Lake Wobegon last Tuesday. According to witnesses, an eerie white light suddenly appeared over the lake, hovering for a short time over a small fishing boat. Coincidentally, this event occurred simultaneously with the tragic drowning death of Jonas Quinn. Reports by witnesses that this light coalesced into a man described as "kinda geeky, but really cute" were dismissed as pure fantasy by vacationers Janet Fraiser, her daughter Cassie, and George Hammond.


End file.
